For many, the holidays are painted as a time of warmth, connection, and homecoming. But for those who experienced trauma or distressing events within their family, this season can stir up something very different. The idea of “going home” can feel like stepping back into an unsafe situation or like reopening old wounds. Even if you’re not returning to that environment, reminders can be everywhere right now, especially if the trauma occurred during the holidays. The body often notices reminders before our mind makes the connection, noticing familiar smells, songs, seasonal changes or traditions, and more.
Trauma that occurred in the context of family relationships carries a unique weight. The same spaces, people, or traditions that symbolize comfort for others may represent threat or betrayal for survivors. The nervous system remembers what the mind may try to forget. Long after leaving an unsafe situation, the body can still respond as though the threat is near. Common symptoms include heart racing, stomach tightening, or a sudden wave of dread that seems to come from nowhere. This is not weakness; it’s your body’s warning system trying to protect you. Unfortunately for many, it feels more overwhelming than protective.
During the holidays, grounding and anchoring practices can be lifelines. Simple, sensory-based techniques like feeling your feet on the floor, noticing your breath, naming five things you can see, breathing techniques, and more. These strategies provide cues to help signal to the nervous system that you’re in the present, not the past. Anchoring to supportive people, rituals, or “safe enough” spaces can also restore a sense of choice and stability in a season that may otherwise feel unpredictable. Sometimes using these symptoms as a guide, information to aide your healing process, can be hard, and can take time and support. Our instinct can be to avoid them, to even resent these symptoms due to the fear they often evoke.
EMDR therapy offers another path toward healing these deeply rooted associations. EMDR helps the brain and body reprocess memories that remain “stuck” in survival mode, allowing them to move forward from intrusive reliving into adaptive understanding. Over time, this can reduce the emotional charge and physical activation that the holidays, or any reminder can bring. You can begin to experience the season differently, grounded in the safety of the present instead of the echoes of the past.
If this time of year feels heavy or complicated, you are not alone. Healing from family-based trauma takes courage, and it’s okay to honor what you need to feel safe. Sometimes that means saying no, creating new traditions, or simply allowing yourself to rest. Safety is the foundation of healing, and it begins with knowing that your experience is valid and your wellbeing matters.
At Creekside Counseling & Wellness, we understand how layered this season can be for survivors. Our evidenced-based approaches, like EMDR and other trauma-informed approaches, support your healing at the pace your nervous system can manage, helping you build safety, connection, and resilience from the inside out. If you’re ready to explore an effective and more grounded way to move through the holidays, we’re here to walk alongside you.